Three minimal years - was it worth the hustle?

It has been around three years since I learned about this thing called minimalism. At that point in time the name resonated obviously only with black and white interiors and people who own around one hundred items, while living in a tent or car. Even though it seemed pretty radical, it intrigued me to learn more about it. After countless YouTube videos, blog posts, few books I thought I knew it all. Fast forward to today, I am much more aware what minimalism is and what appeals to me the most in this movement, is the fact that it can be something totally different to each one pursuing it. Anniversaries are always great occasions to reminiscent, so let me take a walk down the memory lane.

Three years ago, I was in a different place. Not exactly in a geographic sense, but more of spiritual, mental and emotional one. I have just learned about my infertility, got out of the soul and body wrecking 16 h/day job and was inevitably entering my first marriage crisis. As you can imagine I was really pissed and sad, but I was too unaware of myself to even notice that, yet everyone around me was not as biased as me. Once I started my therapy, I learned that anger is an actually "better" emotion than sadness, as it is energetically stronger and motivates action and action my friends, is something I was always good at. So after a period of intensive partying, one autumn night I looked at my huge closet full of "nothing to wear" items and decided it's enough. That is when a minimalist me was born.

Three years later, I am a different person. While I have not experienced a miracle of unexpected pregnancy, still work in a corporate environment and go to bed each night with the same man, everything is different - I am at peace with it all. Obviously anger and sadness do come back to me still, some days more that others,  I know now that this is a part of life and I know longer fight it. 

I am content with who I am.

It would be unreasonable to suggest that it was all driven by those old clothes disappearing from my flat, but nevertheless I owe quite a lot to the movement.

1. A sense of peace

My life serves me, not the other way around. Through simple changes in my exterior, I have build a much easier living situation, which has brought countless practical benefits, but mostly a feeling of balance within me. I no longer have to chase the perfect picture of an adult life because I know everything is a process. I gave up the illusive expectation of completion in life and accepted that change is the way of the universe. I learned to cherish the present moment as it last only a while, and tomorrow everything can and will be different. This no longer scares me, it excites me!

2. A sense of cohesiveness

I am a pretty messy person, but I was always driven to the idea of simplicity in life. I like neutral, open spaces, comfortable good quality clothes and no fuss healthy food. However that wasn't always the case. I used to own a closet full of clothes in different styles, tons of useless decorations and spent a lot of time pursuing the fight for more. Nowadays, my closet is a small, color coordinated space in my bedroom, I eat a balanced pescetarian diet and don't waste countless hours on cleaning my apartment. I am a strong believer that your outer space reflects your inner space. That is why I invest my time in the pursuit of less but better. Building a capsule wardrobe, organizing my living space and better time and task management help me decrease the amount of stress and anxiety I experience everyday. This improves my mood, well being and resonates among those closest to me.

3. A sense of strength

This one is probably the most important one. While decluttering, I have discovered how many of my insecurities have been covered under the load of stuff I owned. All of the self doubt, anxiety and self -pitty uncovered with every piece of crap I removed from my life. It was not easy, but in the long run it freed me and made me realize my own strength. I have already achieved so much in my life, have gone through so many difficult moment and I still endure. Don't get me wrong, I am no hero of any sort, but I learned to believe in myself, aside from any external motivation. The more I got to know myself with all my flaws and strengths, the more I realized that I do not really need anyone to make my dreams come true, it is my responsibility and I can do it. Even when I fail and fall, I can myself up. This mindset change, has drove so much positive change in my life, especially that it comes not from a "braggy" part of me, but from a humble and honest part of my soul.

So to answer the question in the header - was it? Hell yeah!